The Monday Before Christmas...
December 21st, 2009

I went to work dressed like this:

Because that’s what Ministers of Senior Adults wear to work the Monday before Christmas. Apparently.

Actually the elf outfit happened by accident, or by extortion, or, well, accidental extortion. I got a call from someone we will call "Mrse. Lynne Smithe" to protect her identity, and she told me she was having trouble finding a Santa Claus for the Widow’s Lunch on Monday and she needed my help. My first thought was, I have a beard, it does a have a small patch of gray, and I guess I have put on a couple of pounds over the years, but surely she doesn’t think I am Santa material yet…right???

“I thought maybe you could do it,” she said.

I’m old and fat and gray, I thought.

“We’ll have to stuff lots of pillows in your costume ofcourse,” she said.

“I’ll do it! I’ll do it!” I heard myself saying before I could think about it. I was just glad that she wasn’t calling me old and fat and gray, I guess. Being Santa will be fun though and make a great Photo of the Day for my website, I thought.

Mrse. Lynne Smithe called me back the next day and said, “I couldn’t find a Santa costume anywhere, but I found an elf costume, would you wear that?”

Because I’m short and havepointy ears?? I thought. The holidays make me very sensitive apparently.

“I have a little outfit with pointy ears and some really cool shoes,” she said.

“I’ll do it! I’ll do it!” I heard myself saying before I could think about it. Again.

So the plan was set, I was to show up at the Widow’s Lunch dressed as an elf to hand out gifts. Great!

Except on Monday morning we have staff meeting. And this Monday morning I had devotion. I couldn’t find a way to make my devotion elf related so I thought I better not show up dressed as an elf because I wanted them to take my devotion seriously. So much so that I wore a button up shirt. With a sweater over it. My button up shirt was wrinkled and I didn’t want to iron but I still wanted to be taken seriously. It’s a trick I learned from Hints from Heloise. Anyway, after the meeting I changed into my elf outfit.

And then I thought it would be funny if I put my other clothes in my chair at my computer like I had been working and disappeared.

I thought it would be funny when someone walked by and saw it.I thought it would look like I had been raptured and they had been left behind.

I went down to the Widow’s Lunch and Mrse. Lynne Smithe told me it was running behind schedule so it would be a few more minutes and that I could just work until they were ready. So I did.

I was making copies and going about business as normal.  The best part was the ladies in the office hadno idea I was going to be dressing as an elf for the Widow’s Lunch so to them Iwas just randomly dressed as an elf for work.

Although I am the guy who started “Dress Like a Cowboy Fridays” so they probably weren’t that surprised. And the 4 year olds in the Lions Pre-School Class by the Ridgedale Room weren’t really either. I hung out in there for a few minutes before going into the Widow’s Lunch. I even made a new friend.

Ellie the Elf.

After promising each of the boys and girls that I would tell Santa one last time they had been good boys and girls, it was off to the Ridgedale Room to spread more glee!

After the festivities of handing out gifts as Santa’s elf (I don’t have pictures of this because I was too busy hopping around handing out gifts and hugging necks, but Mrse. Lynne Smithe does, I think) I came back to my office and I saw THIS:

John and Tony and Chad had changed my set up to make it look like I had not only been raptured, but I had been passed out drunk when it happened.

The Morale of theStory:

John and Tony and Chad are on Santa’s Naughty List, do not get them anything for Christmas.

Posted by Kevin Lewis in ~   |  0 Comment(s)